If you haven't watched New Girl's installment this week, please back away from the computer and keep walking away. For the rest of you, feel free to keep reading on.
It was the tale of the lost virginities of all who inhabit the loft, and Cece. The episode starts off with Jess getting a text from the man who took away her flower, Teddy, asking to go out. This starts off the stories of all the first times of the gang.
Jess begins by giving a long-winded tale of her first time. It all began in 2000 of prom night. When her date could not get her dress off (her mom had to sew it up because Jess made it) she yelled at him to be a man and he freaked out a little bit. She left the room for a bit and ran into a lovely looking man with a guitar with whom they shared a duet of Lisa Loeb's "Stay." When it all seems that this is how Jess lost it, it is all for color. Years later, when Jess is 22 and worrying because she is still a virgin, she see Mr. Guitar in the very bar that Nick now bartends. Fun gag, Winston, Nick, and Schmidt are all at the bar in the flashback and Jess' look of disgust when Cece suggests she have one of them "take her flower" is pure gold. Back to the story: Mr. Guitar and Jess go to do it in a play castle, except he can't perform due to antidepressants. It then ends up being morning and the firemen have to come to get the almost-lovers out of the castle. Turns out, Teddy is one of the firemen.
Cece's story is much shorter and much less embarrassing. It is prom night once again and while sitting in the hotel bar, Mick Jagger spots her and asks to have sex. That's pretty much the end of it and the boys are all very impressed, especially Schmidt.
There is also not too much to say about Winston's story. He and Nick are in New York in their teens with Nick's father, who so very kindly orders some prostitutes. While Nick cannot do the deed with his, marvelously called Octopussy, Winston loses it with his women, Mysteria. Turns out, Winston never actually figured out that she was a prostitute until telling this story and Nick confiding that his dad swore him to secrecy until his death. During this scene, there is a nice exchange between Nick and his dad: "I don't want you to miss out on the best things in life because you are thinking too much. Because those turn out to be the best things." I'm paraphrasing them.
Schmidt's story is with his college girlfriend, Elizabeth, played by Merritt Weaver. The funniest moment comes a few hours earlier, when Schmidt goes to Nick to ask some advice about loving his lady. I was basically in tears by this point. So the story: Schmidt overuses the mega bucket of lube he bought and slips on Nick, who was tripping in his bed. But it still all goes to plan.
Nick's story: "Allison Daniels, on a towel in the woods. She cried. I left her bra on. It was nice."
Back in the present day, the gang all leave to see their various significant others, sans Nick who is staying in the apartment. Jess get's in the elevator to go meet Teddy and as the doors close, Nick's arm pops through and he enters as Ellie Goulding's "Anything Can Happen" rises. He lifts her in his arms, the two enter the bedroom and, after a little montage of the rest of the loft mate's nights, we see Nick and Jess, sweaty, lying in bed having just (finally!) done the deed. After a multitude of emotions playing across their faces, the pair burst out laughing. Thank God the final image was not the look of regret on their faces. The final episodes of the season should be epic.
No comments:
Post a Comment